Seems funny that witnesses are quick to dismiss anything that an Apostate says if it come from really old WTS publications yet they are more than willing to quote from publications from the 1800's when it supports their case! Freakin' Hypocrites!!!!
gordon d
JoinedPosts by gordon d
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Watchtower is NOT Inspired and NOT Infallible
by UnDisfellowshipped in"it is vital that we ... respond to the directions of the "slave" as we would to the voice of god ..." (the watchtower, june 15, 1957, page 371).
"then we will no longer be babies.
we will not be tossed about like a ship that the waves carry one way and then another.
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Sneak Peek at the Revised "New World Translation"!!!
by gordon d ini was lucky enough to have a friend at bethel sneak me an early release copy of the new, revised edition of the new world translation that is scheduled for release at next springs district conventions.
obviously, i havent been able to read all of it yet but i did glance through it and found some of the subtle changes that the fds has seen as important revisions.
here are some of the more notable ones in our new bible: .
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gordon d
I was lucky enough to have a friend at Bethel sneak me an early release copy of the New, “Revised Edition” of the “New World Translation” That is scheduled for release at next spring’s District Conventions.
Obviously, I haven’t been able to read ALL of it yet but I did glance through it and found some of the subtle changes that the FDS has seen as important revisions.
Here are some of the more notable ones in our new Bible:
Starting in Genesis….
The “forbidden fruit” is now a guy (with really nice shoes) named Stuart.
Enoch “went with God” and came back later with presents for everyone.
After Hagar and Ishmael were disfellowshipped, no one would even say hello to them or even make eye contact….. finally, dejected, they went into the desert.
Moses went before Pharaoh and said, “Let my people go… door-to-door”
After descending the mountain with the 10 commandments, Moses had Aaron go back up with him to help carry the 64 “Codes of Christian Conduct”
Elijah, while be taken up to heaven, tragically fell out of the chariot, to his untimely death.
Job’s (previously unmentioned) 4th friend accurately addressed the reason for the curse that Job was under… helped him fill out all of his late “time slips”, and then everything was restored to him.
Proverbs 4: now reads, “The light will grow brighter…sometimes it flickers a little but if the wise man will just tap on it a few times it’ll usually come back on and then it’ll be really, really bright! Like, you can’t even look right at it bright!”
Nebuchadnezzar became like a beast for seven years and then took 20 years to get cleaned up, compose himself, and stuff…. (Kinda’ helps explain the whole 607 BCE thingy)
The three “Wise*by worldly standards*Men”, who came to Christ’s birth, bearing gifts, were given a good, stern, talking too and decided to return their Pagan gifts (after the holiday rush) and took Joseph up his offer for free a in-tent papyrus study.
John the Baptist is now referred to as “John the Non-Denominational Dunkin’ Guy”
Jesus now died on the “Wheel of Mis-fortune”
Paul did not go into Asia Minor as it was a “gated community”
The Ethiopian eunuch replied to Phillip’s question about understanding by saying, “How can I understand unless someone sells me a lovingly prepared, companion booklet?”
The twelve disciples are now referred to as the twelve “Regular Disciples”.
As the 12 Regular Disciples gathered in the upper room… everyone passed the wine and bread around until Judas ACTUALLY took a drink! Three of the disciples immediately went into another little room and asked Judas to come in and explain his behavior.
Before leaving the 11 still active disciples, Jesus said, “No one knows the hour or day of my return… not even I. But if you look REALLY hard, I bet some of you guys can figure out the week! Here’s a little hint…When you try to “measure-up” it will pucker your “Sphinx-ter” when people call you a “Mummy’s Boy” but you will be in “Da-Nile”…..*chuckle-snort-snort* -
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Jehovah's witnesses in the movies.... funny stuff!
by gordon d inthis is a variation from the previous post: .
"learning to substitute jw terms and phrases for real ones, for example" .
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/123548/1.ashx .
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gordon d
JW--- "It's sad that his child bled to death but it certainly is encouraging to see such a fine example of a brother and sister humbly following the instructions given by Jehovah God's Faithful and Discreet Slave!"
"Hey... It's the African Ant-Eater Ritual!"
The Nerd Herd--- Can't Buy Me Love
You might have to think about this one a little.....
Sorry.... All out of sophomoric humor tonight. -
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Jehovah's witnesses in the movies.... funny stuff!
by gordon d inthis is a variation from the previous post: .
"learning to substitute jw terms and phrases for real ones, for example" .
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/123548/1.ashx .
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gordon d
No!.... But I think you WON!
LMAO!!!!!!!!! -
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What awaits the next JW to come to my door........
by zev inyes, those in the lincoln rhode island congregation will have ample warning.....
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gordon d
You know... I haven't had a visit in quite a while.....
I've heard rumors that some people's houses have been "Red-Flagged" but never actually seen that practice in effect.
Does it really happen?
I never went to the KH that would cover this area so wouldn't presume that I've been labeled as a trouble spot.
IF I HAVE.... Who would I need to call to get taken off the "Black-list"??? -
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Jehovah's witnesses in the movies.... funny stuff!
by gordon d inthis is a variation from the previous post: .
"learning to substitute jw terms and phrases for real ones, for example" .
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/123548/1.ashx .
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gordon d
JW---"Brother, I hear that you've been visiting the JWD forum"
"You want the truth?...You can't handle the TRUTH!!!"
Jack Nicholson... A Few Good Men -
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What awaits the next JW to come to my door........
by zev inyes, those in the lincoln rhode island congregation will have ample warning.....
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gordon d
I just don't get it???
The highlight of my month is getting to talk to Dubs at my door....
Just the chance to lure them into one of "their" topics and then posing a question that they cannot answer without sounding like a complete idiot is SO sweet. I might be naive but who know's, maybe it's planting that first seed of doubt that helped so many of us get HERE????
Plus... there's a lot of faders out there that are just going through the motions... maybe someone could use a nice Apostate friend.
Either way, having one show up, with Bible in hand, is better service than a Pizza delivery! -
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What Witnesses do better than anybody!
by gordon d inthe one thing that i have to say about the wts is that they crank out some of the best apostates anywhere!.
i've only been here a few weeks but i am already so addicted to this forum.... the people here are unbelievable!.
probably a mix of the most knowledgeable, helpful, compassionate, and open-minded people anywhere on the net.. the way everyone jumps in to offer their support when someone else is feeling down or hurting, the resources of information that are there for the asking, and the non-judgemental attitudes that people convey, even when they dis-agree..... it boggles the mind... how, in the world, did any of you ever attend the kh?????.
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gordon d
What is going on in that picture? The guys were not having a particularly great day out in the shop.... figured it was time to grab my Scooby suit, go out, and hump a few legs! I don't think they (forum mods or SPCA) will let me post the "other" pics!
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What Witnesses do better than anybody!
by gordon d inthe one thing that i have to say about the wts is that they crank out some of the best apostates anywhere!.
i've only been here a few weeks but i am already so addicted to this forum.... the people here are unbelievable!.
probably a mix of the most knowledgeable, helpful, compassionate, and open-minded people anywhere on the net.. the way everyone jumps in to offer their support when someone else is feeling down or hurting, the resources of information that are there for the asking, and the non-judgemental attitudes that people convey, even when they dis-agree..... it boggles the mind... how, in the world, did any of you ever attend the kh?????.
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gordon d
The One thing that I have to say about the WTS is that they crank out some of the best Apostates anywhere!
I've only been here a few weeks but I am already SO addicted to this forum.... The people here are unbelievable!
Probably a mix of the most knowledgeable, helpful, compassionate, and open-minded people anywhere on the net.
The way everyone jumps in to offer their support when someone else is feeling down or hurting, the resources of information that are there for the asking, and the non-judgemental attitudes that people convey, even when they dis-agree..... It boggles the mind... How, in the world, did any of you EVER attend the KH?????
Thank You to all my new friends!
P.S. However... some of you are a few "LMOA's" behind in responding to my jokes.... My therapist will not be at all happy about this, try and tighten it up a bit... OK?
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What Is Wrong With the Religion "Wicca"?
by Dark_Princess ini am currently an agnostic, i am suffering from depression because i cant seem to know or realize if this "jehovah's witness religion" is really true..i mean what is so true about it.
im only 17 years old and i feel that i need to find my religion.
right now im currently dating a wiccan.
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gordon d
WELCOME Dark Princess... Glad you're here.
My one time girlfriend Shanna once told me that the best thing about practicing Wicca is the comebacks that you get to use for all the stupid questions that you get.
[Q] Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
[A] I'm a sandwich... bite me!
[Q] Can you turn me into a toad?
[A] No, but I could try and turn you into a human!
[Q] Do you ride a broom?
[A] I did...'till your mother stole it!